Israel Chronicles: All-well at El-Al

D-Day finally arrived. My travel partner (referred to as TP) and I literally bounded to the international airport in Bombay to fly to Tel Aviv. Did not realize that Mr.Murphy was hanging on my back a-la betaal. Our very entry into the airport (involving a simple procedure of flashing the passport and ticket) took us half an hour. And then the El-Al drama began. Israel as a nation was founded as a country for Jews. And non-Jew Asians being notorious squatters(read illegal immigrants) are subjected to extra scrutiny at the airport itself.

We waited for almost 40 minutes before they called us in for questioning – at two different tables. It was like some tandem competition – any question that my TP answered differently from me would be put forth to me again and again and again, faster and faster each time… now I had no idea what my TP had said, so the answers they got from me were the same... again and again!I felt as though I was in a Hollywood movie, being interrogated by an FBI agent! The supervisor came in after his minions 'failed' to 'extract' top-secret info from me.He tried interrogating me to see if it really made sense for 2 Indian mothers to leave their children behind and travel (of all the countries) to Israel… my retort “Why Not” left them stumped.

Finally after almost 45 minutes of intensive questioning, (during when I noticed 2 fellow travelers being asked to leave), the El Al guys (who I think were Mossad agents getting trained!) checked my profile online and 'almost' figured that I wasn’t going to bomb Israel or steal the Wailing Wall or liberate Palestine or more probably immigrate to Israel as a domestic help. Finally, they asked me one last question “Why only Jerusalem, why not Bethleham”. At this juncture, I lost my cool and went into my 'bhaashan' mode....I 'declaimed' that I had no ulterior motive and as a practising Hindu my attempts to understand other religions deserved applause, not reproach. Also, I was contributing to their country’s travel industry, so they ought to welcome me with a glass of Israeli wine, rather than interrogate me. Tired of my tirade (or perhaps convinced), the supervisor finally ‘approved’ my travel and I got my ticket to the Holy Land.

TP and I literally ran through security (wasting precious time with a STUPID travelex chap who insisted that as per law I could only convert 7500 INR per passport, thereby increasing my stress levels) and finally made it to the flight in time.

El-Al as an airline is quite decent. Tasty airline food for a change, pleasing crew, ontime departure and arrival and terrible Israeli wine!

One more round of questioning followed in Israel where a moron stamped my visa with a ‘work permit’ stamp. Some more interrogation (yawn!) Once the officer-in-charge figured we were in Israel on a holiday, she almost hugged us for our chutzpah and ‘shalomed’ us to Israel! The grand journey begins…. ‘

Moral of the story: Always eat before you reach the international airport, otherwise you may eat dinner (however good and hot) at 2.00 a.m.the next day.

Travel - Daddy vs. Mommy

Scenario 1: Dad is leaving for a week's travel. What does he do?
a) Pack his bags.
b) Send his contact details to wife.
c) Kiss wife and son goodbye.


Scenario 2: Mom is leaving for a week's travel. What does she do?
a) Prepare child for mommy's absence for a week - TOUGH job.
b) Ensure that groceries are stocked up for a week.
c) Pay all utility bills, so that there are no disruptions in her absence.
d) Store the valuables safely, knowing that cupboards could be left open.
e) Instruct daily help on the 'NO LEAVE FOR A WEEK' policy and promise rich rewards if they are punctual and do their work without constant instruction.
f) Call child's teacher, doctor and neighbors to be on standby - just in case child is sick or dad is late or forgets to pick him up!
g) Fix back-ups
- telling (mom's)mom how the house JUST cannot run if she doesn't come for atleast 3 days to look after child.
- sigh to (mom's)mom-in-law that her help is most necessary as her son would be hard-pressed for time handling work, child and house.


h)Pack his bags.
i) Send his contact details to wife.
j) Kiss wife and son goodbye.

This is true in every woman's life, give or take a few activities. Having said that, I must add disclaimer that I can actually leave my house to my husband and travel knowing well that he does a good job if he puts his mind to it!

Women - my heart-felt salaams to you. May your feet travel as much as your heart does!

"THE" school interview

Button's letter inviting us for an 'Interaction' arrived a few days ago (for a place in a really prestigious school in Chennai) and we've been trying to teach Button the art of answering (with hilarious results). D-Day arrived this morning and here are some Buttonisms.

Teacher: (pointing to a car) "What is this?"
Button: (thinks, thinks)
Mamma: "What IS this?" (Mentally getting worried, because my son can identify makes of almost all cars on the rooad, and therefore getting stressed at his silence)
Teacher: (possibly thinking that the child does not know) "Is this a bus?"
Button: "No, I want to know if it is an Audi or is it a BMW?"
Teacher: (stumped) "I will check and let you know!"


Teacher: "Could you please sing a song?"
Button :"No. I don't FEEL LIKE singing a song now"!

Teacher: (pointing to a duck and duckling)"Do you know what this is?"
Button: "Yes, it is a duck. This is a mother duck."
Teacher: "And this is a baby duck."
Button: "Yes it is a duckling".


Teacher: "Let me draw a star for you. You've done well."
Button: "Thank you." (pauses) "Please draw moon for the star to play with"


Bottomline: He is IN. (praise be to the Almighty). We've paid the fees. I can leave for my holiday to Israel in peace, I've earned it!

Overheard: Check the price

My maid talking to her son on her cellphone "Yes, I know we are usually loyal to 'two leaves'. But check the price being offered by the 'sun' group. If they offer us at least a thousand more, along with clothes, promise them the entire street's votes. Otherwise, let us stick to 'two leaves'. At least they pay us immediately"

The state of our country!

Govinda Govinda

As per our family's custom, we decided to let Button adopt the bald look again. Some trips are just jinxed from the start... this was one of them. First, the husband went a day early on work to Tirupati. Like Murphy would have it, the driver who drove Button and I to Tirupati decided to drive to Bangalore instead. A journey that normally takes 3 - 4 hours from Chennai took us 6 hours! Button cooperated brilliantly, otherwise he may have been witness to his mom murdering the driver.

We checked into Fortune Kences hotel at Tirupati (supposedly one of the best hotels). Balls! Read my rant at Tripadvisor.

In Tirupati, as was taught to him, Button repeated ad nauseum that "he was going to give ummachi (God) all his hair" and that "he would not cry, he would be happy". One cold morning at 4.30 a.m. the barber did away with Button's lovely curly locks, and true to his promise, he did not cry, even utter a word of protest.

However, when we took him into the public bathroom to bathe him, he HOWLED and how! He yelled to anyone who'd listen that the floors were dirty(!) and that mamma get 'mausi' to do 'poncha' immediately. We managed to bribe him to take a quick bath with promises of chocolates and ambulances and proceeded to the darshan lines.


And then the long wait in the queue began... although we were in the Rs.300/- queue, we waited from 5.30a.m. to get darshan at 10.00 a.m. With a two and half year old, its hardly my idea of piety or spirituality! But Button got into the groove yelling 'Govinda Govinda' in the ears of anyone who dared nod off in the long queue of waiting devotees!

We'd been telling Button that Venkateshwara being the God of Plenty would bless him with wisdom, riches, health and prosperity. To simplify these words, we told him Lord Balaji would give him "many-many" of everything. When my dad asked him on his return what God would give him in exchange for Button's hair, his reply was "Many many taxis. 10 for each hand!" Amen!!

Resolution # 1

2011 dawned many moons ago. And this year my resolution is to stick to my resolutions! The first of them was to resurrect my dormant blog. The blog has ceased to be just an outlet for penning down my thoughts. It remains (and here comes my B-school training) -
1. A diary of memories that my mind finds difficult to store of late.
2. A place to leave something that is quintessentially 'me' for posterity. Like my mom's letters to my dad, or my grandfather's diaries or my grandmother's diamonds!
3. A wonderful place to make and keep new friends. I already met a blogging mamma and it was oh-so-wonderful to bond with her.
4. An ode to my family.
5. A fulfillment of a resolution to do something creative. While it may not be in the league of artists and writers, it gives me joy, and so it remains a testament to my creativity.

Thank you 2011 for arriving. Good luck!

Sabbatical

With Button's school and a growing list of school related activities,I barely manage to find time to blog ( more importantly the inner energy and enthusiasm for blogging seems to have ebbed). Although the wish to blog is dormant at the moment, I have resolved to come back after a few weeks.

All my blog friends, thanks for bringing sunshine to my life. I shall keep checking on you and leaving comments as usual.

As for Button, he is so full of energy and new developments every day, that I find each day whizzing past.

Take care and as the big man said "hasta la vista baby" :)