Images in my head

Struggled with finding a topic to blog on today.... not my usual style, but sleeplessness, long travel, 2 kids and no maid caused tremendous stress and fatigue. So I resorted to some pics from my arsenal (loosely images, get the drift, eh?),  just so I don't miss my letter of the day. 

Tomorrow is anther day said the wise Scarlett, and well, I just agree!

No matter which country you live in, you want to prettify yourself eh? Why not look good when you are fighting for your rights! 

A poster outside a beauty parlor in Nablus, Palestine

I bet you thought now or a long time ago, that all Arab women were repressed eh? Nor your fault, blame it on the media. Here's a stunner in Palestine flaunting her to-die-for red boots!

And children have their likes, no matter which part of the world! These teletubby slippers in a marketplace in disputed Palestine.

When I clicked the pic below, in a small eatery near the Dead Sea, the waiters were cringing in embarrassment at having been 'outed' by an Indian!

Aspirational India, huh? 

Its true. Hardcore Israelis wear their nationalistic pride on their chest. And its horrible that these people exists.

Iran, take care!

In Jerusalem, its wonderful to be able to travel back in time and experience religion intimately. Prayers come alive and bring a deep sense of spirituality, no matter what religion you practice (provided you want to absorb the sense of peace a brother from another mother wants to give you!) 

Do you recognize this familiar grace?

Now you do!

Religion doesn't confine you. It sets you free! Lets you feel the wind in your hair, or on your pate!

Buddhist Monk in Bylekuppe, Coorg

Kids sometimes thrill you with their acts. In a tiny, poor village in Bangladesh, these 2 kids who had next to nothing ran about trying to find some flowers for their Indian guests! Humbling, eh?

Brothers. 

 We took a pic with these weavers' children and practiced English with them for some time.

Madam aunty, Madam aunty & kids!

 And you thought you need to go to Harrods to get the finest bone China? Ha ha! Maybe you can book a ticket to Dhaka instead.

Exports shop selling chinaware in Dhaka

 There is something magical about the Himalayas. This was love at first sight.

The clouds cleared... a vision in majesty!

 When you climb up thousands of feet(albeit in a car) and absorb the extent of hostile territory that your army has to protect, the sight of an Indian flag makes you weep. Jai Jawan!

Khardungla, Ladakh

Something magical about finding a branch of your school in a small tiny hamlet en route Siachen glacier.

Kendriya Vidyalaya mahaan shreya hai! 

Rosy cheeked, naughty as ever! They look as Indian to me as my kids do, why discriminate on basis of features?

In a hamlet close to the Chinese border, Ladakh

 No wise cracks please! Am sure they did NOT study in a KV!

I wish they could've had a better English teacher though!

Whether you have one kid or ten, the first birth experience is always etched in memory. The Bombay monsoon broke the day my son decided to make his way to this planet. 

View from a room in Breach Candy hospital

If you can't have an iPhone, why not a pillow instead?! 

In a Chinese market, Chinatown, SG

Good words can be found anywhere, and wise ones can be of any age!

In a bus in SG

Something about rains that always make me happy!

Children are amazing to observe and learn from. The smallest of things that you don't even notice anymore give them reason to pause and play for hours on end. My son, at 14 months, used to be fascinated by the sunset (of which we had a GREAT view at Prabhadevi, Bombay)

The curiosity on seeing the sun rays still grabs my attention

How I met your father!

Dear Button and Twinkle, 

When you are reading this, your dad and I would've at least been together for 20 years, and its a long time. We are aware that your ideals of a happy,exciting marriage would be based on what you've seen at close quarters a.k.a your parents a.k,a "Us". While you may think that we had a stormy relationship with ups and downs before we got married (like then ones you are now having with your girl/boy friend), we actually had an 'engineered' marriage. A step up from traditional arranged marriages, but certainly not a 'love marriage'! Ask us what these terms mean. They don't exist anymore :) No no, we do love each other....a LOT, there is love in the marriage, it just didn't have time to bloom before the marriage. (Sigh, kids today!) 

When we met on 'tsunami' day in 2004 at Bombay, neither of us were particularly 'looking' to get married. Our parents were involved MUCH MUCH more in our 'meeting' process than your parents would be. Our horoscopes had been matched, parents had spoken to each other and because we were both very stubborn, our parents persuaded us to email each other and at least consider meeting once. Now I had met 9 other 'eligible' men before your dad... all very educated, settled all over the world... but I wasn't prepared to settle down, and certainly not this way with a man I'd met a few minutes only. Your dad has his own hilarious tales of how he met a similar number of women before he met me. 

You could say we were hardened 'meeting-for-marriage' veterans. We met, had coffee, a conversation ensued - yes, polite, why would I be impolite to a stranger? A good looking one at that! And then, my phone rang... and didn't stop ringing. A massive tsunami had struck the coast of TN and also Kalpakkam (where my parents, and grandparents and your aunt lived). I couldn't reach anyone - not my mom or dad or sister and I was panicking. I called your uncle A (then your aunt's boyfriend) and he was panicking too. Reports on TV were super scary. I knew my dad had gone out that day and footage of cars being washed 30 kms away from where they were, with bodies inside, didn't do much to assuage my fear. 

And then I heard someone speak calmly to me. He said "I am going to first book a ticket for you to Chennai, then figure out what the emergency Police control room numbers are and try to reach them." While I was trying hard not to believe that my entire family had been wiped out, I also remember wondering who he was and why he was doing this for me . He took my phone, sent a message to a few friends asking them to keep trying to reach my parents and ordered another coffee for me. At some point your uncle A called me and said "Everyone is safe. The ground-floor is flooded and the garden is trashed, a couple of cow corpses are at the gate, but everybody moved to the first floor. All of them are really shaken, but safe. Nothing to worry at the moment". 

I remembered how to breathe again. I finally cried a little. Your dad did nothing but offer a clean kerchief. And that was the moment I knew I had found the man of my dreams. A man who could write well, charm me, regale me with funny stories, laugh at himself... but most importantly be my rock. Be silent when I needed him to. Be compassionate  And do his best to help even a stranger. 

It took him a few more days to get round to thinking the same way. Well, what convinced him was how straight I could walk after drinking him down, but he'll never agree :) How many? Far too many for you to know or emulate! This'll go down to the grave with me dears, but enough to sign the check in Tamil! 

So coming back, its not that one meeting convinced us that we were "made for each other", we worked at it.Really hard. Over the years seeing us be close, seeing the obvious love and affection we have for each other, AND each others' opinions will hopefully help you form a good idea of how marriages ought to be. It doesn't matter that I don't get diamonds each year, but it DOES matter that I get to enjoy a great vacation every year. Watching each others' backs, being there for each other and doing little things to make our lives more fun, that's the key darlings. 

I do hope you make the right choice. And more importantly work at two things in your relationships - One, keeping that choice, and two, keeping the 'rightness' of the choice! 

Love, 
Your (still-besotted-with-dad) Amma!

Grand Canyon - Glorious, Gorgeous, GRAND indeed!

I may as well be posting on Mountain Time (most of the Grand Canyon's time zone) instead of IST. So decided to make it easy with a picture post. But before you get to the pics, here's a serious suggestion. Please please DO VISIT natural wonders like the Grand Canyon before they get altered irreparably by Mother Nature. And be a RESPONSIBLE tourist. No, a piece of rock chipped off is NOT a good souvenir, your name painted on the walls is NOT a good memory, your plastic chips and pretzel bags or water bottles are certainly NOT appreciated there nor is the Grand Canyon responsible for your limbs and safety if you choose to climb over the fence to take a pic. Be good. Be serious. ENJOY the journey and DO WALK lots!

We started with the Zion Narrows, where you walk in water, and the two sides of the canyon move closer and closer and closer till we don't fit in (well, some earlier than others!) but do not touch!

Our first view when we started the trek

Wading through... it was shoulder high at the point we decided to return

Next stop was Toroweap! Its a not-often visited part of the Grand Canyon where the North and South rim are closest with the Colorado river cleaving its way between them. And your overlook point is 3000 feet above the river, remember its the Canyons! Its Red Indian territory and we had a blast remembering stories, talking about conservation and using the dry bathrooms (no, not a blast this!)

Our picture perfect entry to the Toroweap overlook

The Colorado doowwwwwnnn below

A friend clowning around!

And then a scene outta a disaster movie! We drove back REAL quick. 

Next stop the Northern Rim of the Grand Canyon. Some more hikes and funny trekker memories (But I shall stick to the pictures part!)

Slowly tiring out...in our defence, it was HOT!

And these cool parents strut by, baby in kelty, taking pics everywhere (shocking to us Indians!)

The Canyon vista behind

This BEAUTIFUL Angel Window far behind. Still brings goosebumps!

And one more day of trekking.... the picturesque Bryce Canyon next. The natural formations, called hoodoos, just took our breath away. The beauty of these formations is that they were not shaped by water, but by wind. Imagine how many millions of years 'wind' must've worked patiently to create these masterpieces. And my Tam friends, no we did not sing a la Aishwarya Rai in Jeans, no, not anywhere!

The beautiful hoodoos

Naturally carved

The Hand of Thor

At Sunset

The Grand Canyon is one of those places that'll come to your mind time and again, and again, and one more time! Its beauty is timeless, classic, a wonder. It lingers on and I hope to return.... one day!


ps: We had a HAIR RAISING ghostly drive back to Vegas really late in the night. More on that some other time.

Finding Nemo, Floyd and other Fish tales

I have always been fascinated by underwater creatures (fish AND others, including mermaids!) I used to insist on one summer treat every year from the age of 8 or so.... the smelly, dirty, excuse of an aquarium in Chennai. There is something soothing yet exciting about watching fish swim around. Colors, silence, their little pouting mouths, their peculiar ways.... its addictive! 

Although I am a vegetarian, in honor of the excellent Ilish maach in Kolkata, I became fishitarian one autumn, and then once when I was served some prawn (and it didn't agree with me), fish and me continued our relationship with a glass wall in between again. 

Love the idea of danger - Jelly Fish

My fave sea creatures - Sea Horses

My first 'great' experience of an aquarium was at Monterey Bay, CA. I was newly-married and my husband was indulgent and amused and accompanied me in what-he-thought-was-a-2-hour-vist-but-turned-out-to-be-a-day-long-visit to the aquarium there. I was deeply upset at not having brought a swimsuit to accompany a diver into the tank. I particularly enjoyed how the aquarium was just an extension of the natural underwater flora and fauna of that area and how the sea water is constantly pumped in and out of the aquarium. I have said it in many a post and I say it again, Indians suck at marketing. Monterey Bay is again a classic example of how you can buy fishy toys, souvenirs, have experiential learning via diving, feeding, touching etc. I still remember how 'touching' a baby shark felt. How you ask? 1 part scary(it did have teeth, though it was a baby), 2 parts leathery (mildly repulsive, like touching a wet canvas shoe) and 1 part thrilling (I was touching a SHARK, yippee!) My love for aquariums was quite fulfilled that year (including a smallish aquarium in Camden, NJ). And continued in my travels whereever I went. 

And then one summer I had a baby. My love for fishy babies came to an end, or a dormant phase and I became immersed in the joy of parenting my son. 

Some years later, we went to Singapore on a holiday with our 3 year old, we took him to Sentosa's underwater aquarium.We had planned for this to be a 1 hour stop and then go on to Universal Studios. We ended up spending over 5 hours there - over an hour just outside the Nemo - clownfish-reef display (thanks Pixar!) He really wanted to touch a sting ray - 1 part excitement, 2 parts fear, 1 part thrilled...sounded similar.... and it suddenly clicked. He has my genes after all! We are not the oh-i-gotto-tick-this-off-today type of tourists and enjoyed the experience with him very much. I got to do something fantastic that day in the show... I touched a sea-lion. Made myself AND my son proud... both of us conquered a bit of fear that day! These days, after his lessons on 'conservation' at school, my son has been telling anyone who cares to listen that we are going 'snorkeling' this summer at Maldives, Andamans AND Lakshwadeep and that his baby (my infant daughter) will learn swimming there. (Doesn't stop to think he's older and can't swim eh?) 

In other fish tales, I have sent many a goldfish to their next abode by buying and over/underfeeding or not giving oxygen or by cooing too much at them! And named ALL pairs Floyd and Rahman :( Have you had success with goldfish? 

On my bucket list, a shark dive. Have you done it or want to do it? 

Before I sign off here's one of my fave Floyd songs(Floyd was my alternate F topic!) Don't miss Gilmour singing 

"How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,

Running over the same old ground. 

What have we found? The same old fears.

Wish you were here"

Easter Journey: Begging the question

This could've happened at any signal, in any Indian city (any city really!), to anyone. But it happened to me. 

A couple of days ago, Easter evening, my husband, 4 year old son and I were returning from a mall, happy with our shopping, time spent together, money spent easily... happy and content, enjoying the journey back home. At the signal (near Shozinganallur, OMR for the ones who want details), a familiar incident occurred. A bedraggled woman in tatters, holding a 6 months (or so) sleeping infant in her arms tapped on our window for some money. Without even glancing at her, I waved her on (I don't believe in giving money to 'organized' beggars). My son was perched on my lap (India, eh?!). And before we knew what was happening, he burst into tears, he "begged" his dad to give her some money. My husband relented and quickly passed on a tenner. 

His tears continued. He wept for the woman and the child (who he claimed looked a lot like his 5 month old sister, we'd left at home). He couldn't believe the baby did not have a home. I did not help matters by trying to rationally explain that he baby was probably 'hired'. I made a colossal mistake asking my husband if thought the baby was drugged (as some infants are, and this one was unbelievably knocked out).  We drove on in silence. 

I thought the tears would cease. 

I thought wrong. 

I thought I could bribe him with presents to stop sobbing. 

I thought wrong. 

I thought I could distract him with iPhone apps. 

I thought wrong. 

My son refused his dinner that night. He changed into his night clothes and as is his night time routine,  said his night prayers. To calm him down and deal with his fears, I asked him why he was upset (for the millionth time) and to my surprise he said "Amma, she doesn't have a house. The baby has no place to go, no milk to drink. If we don't help her, who will? I wanted to bring her here, but was afraid to ask you. You say it is always good to help others. Why are you not helping her?" 

Out of the mouth of babies, eh? 

My husband and I immediately logged into the site of SMILE foundation's, an organization we believe has well executed outreach programs. 

It was truly humbling, an Easter revival indeed for us. A few organized begging syndicates robbed us of compassion, seeing poverty around us everyday took away the sting and pursuit of our life goals led us to wear blinkers. And here, a child, who has never seen anything less than luxury, crying for an unknown woman and child, refusing his food thinking of the baby's hunger and persuading us to do our duty towards the society. 

Child IS the father of man. 

Amen!

Driving, Distillery & Directions!

There are two kinds of drivers in the world - ones who drive with maps and ones who drive with a GPS (and you thought the ones who ask for directions, and ones who don't, eh?!). My husband (P) belongs to the former and his brother (referred to as G for the rest of the post) belongs to the latter.

Just as we entered Scotland

Flash back to a holiday in Scotland in 2006. We'd gone to Liverpool to meet my brother-in-law and his family (especially our new-born niece). G, P, my 5 year old nephew U and I decided to get out of my sister-in-law's hair and go on a 5 day trip. P and I of course wanted to map our route and plan the journey, G waved us off saying his trusty GPS Mr.T would show us the way brilliantly.

Around the first bend in our drive

And off we went.... after a couple of days of traipsing around castles and lochs, looking for Princesses, Crown jewels and monsters, we decided we ought to go visit a distillery. After all, we were in Scotland! We chose the Isle of Skye (home to famous Talisker) in the inner Hebridges area of Scotland. Now to get there we went early in the morning drove into a ferry and with the car, crossed a small channel from Fort William to Mallaig.

Lovely weather, lovelier Heather (couldn't resist that!)

We drove into a bright sunny morning on the Isle (in July). Beautiful meadows, heather everywhere (and I recommend a holiday there, just to see miles and miles of purple, lavender, mauve and all shades between blue and pink.... breathtaking!) a stiff wind, but hey, we were in Scotland. Stopped to take pic after pic after pic, till my nephew got thoroughly bored and demanded a LONG drive. We had initially planned a trip to the Talisker distilllery, but discovered on the ferry that kids under 8 had limited access during the tour. So we just wandered around. Mr.T was quite upset by our sudden turns and twists and stops, but he coped valiantly as we were still heading in the same direction.We just drove in the Cuillin area, admiring the view. When we were thirsty, we drank Coke and the sheer beauty kept us going. U drank lots of Coke too....... and THREW UP! All over the car.

The clouds crept up in a matter of seconds!

The story changed now.The weather changed in a jiffy to dark, foreboding and rainy! (Scottish weather, remember) We had planned to drive back via the Kyle of Lochalsh, a beautiful bridge over the straight via Inverness, back to Fort William for the night. But with a now sick and moaning child, we decided to go back via the ferry.... which shut at 5.45 p.m...... and the time now was 5.10 p.m. G had had enough and wanted his son to feel better ASAP, so he drove like a madman to try and get to the ferry. We had no time to re-program Mr.T.






Mr.T started panicking... and HOW!! I still laugh at the directions it gave. "Turn back NOW". "You are going the wrong way.". "There is no left turn ahead."  At one point when its GPS must've read that we were over 20 miles from our original, it sadly intoned "Your destination is not this way. Turn back. Turn back. Turn back". Imagine a child groaning, a worried father driving fast, a terrified brother cautioning his brother to drive slower, a hungry me and a totally panicking GPS! And we had no time to turn it off (it required a password et al, which only my b-i-l knew). It was bleating piteously until we almost reached Fort William, when U began howling "Dad, please don't take me somewhere else, I want to go to the hotel. I promise I'll be a good boy. Mr.T loves us, he doesn't say wrong things. Please take me back!"

To date, we tease my nephew (now a teenager) much to his mortification on how he pleaded for us to listen to Mr.T! And the Talisker distillery tour? Just remains on the to-do list.... another day.... another trip! Slainte Mhath!