Monday, August 25, 2008

'Pee' Time tales

Warning: If baby tales of peeing and pooping scare you, scroll down no further!

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Now Button pees funnily. His (ahem) asset stands up like a cannon ready to fire and then starts moving randomly on its axis in any direction it chooses and fires. Sometimes like an irrigation sprinkler in all directions! When he was about 3 weeks old, I was changing his diaper one day, when it stood up alarmingly. I decided to wait and see where he would pee and was betting furiously with my husband over the direction. He started crying at the exact moment he started peeing. And hey, he outdid himself. He peed right onto his face. The expression on his face was an absolute MasterCard moment...priceless.

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My mom's colleague dropped in the other day to meet the baby. She was annoying me no end with her overbearing instructions, especially regarding the cloth nappy and liner that Button was wearing. Apparently, since he is a 'boy', he should be kept clothless showing off his assets as much as possible (and I just don't agree). She picked him up and removed his nappy. He had just peed. She remarked that as he had just peed, it was good to let him air out. Almost instantly, as though Button knew I was displeased with his nangu-pangu state, peed again, right on her face... and lots at that! The look on her face was brilliantly confused as she stuttered and muttered! Ah, retribution :)

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A few days ago, Button's pee started smelling. For those who don't know, a 2 month old baby's pee shouldn't smell at all. Between my internet searches and my Bible 'What to Expect' telling me that it could be Urinary Tract Infection, I decided to become a pathologist and collect a sample of his urine to check if it was cloudy (another symptom of UTI). Oh, what a time I had. Everytime I thought he was going to pee and brought the clean glass container I had identified for the purpose, he would just grin and not go, or go too quickly or more often in the direction opposite to the one I was holding the glass. I guess becoming a football goalie is not a career option for me!
ps: For those who are concerned, no, the smell isn't there any more! It vanished as suddenly as it had appeared.

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During pregnancy, I quite enjoyed a few calorific 'Milky Bars'. Since post delivery I have been quite off chocolates, as a treat my mom bought me a Milky Bar. One afternoon, I put Button to sleep. I slowly unwrapped the two layers, mentally savouring the pleasure that was to come. I placed the bar on my lap and leaned over Button to pick up my book. In a second I felt a lot of wetness on my lap... Milky Bar soaked in baby pee, anyone? (Sigh!)

12 comments:

  1. HAHAHAH! Kya post hai! Hilarious!!

    Lot of things you haev written,I've faced too when my boy was this young! But seriously..making such a funny post out of it, you did a good job!

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  2. you have donePHD on peeing woman!! hehe!!

    and using your baby to take revenge??!! bad mommy!! :p

    had quite a laugh!!

    cheers!

    abha

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  3. labelled as good times!!! i guess a lot more than i think happens to women in those 9 months.

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  4. Hilarious! Yeah, coming from an all girls family...the 'fountain' bit took getting used to..and it does go far na?!

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  5. Clearly, you've given this a lot of thought :-)

    On a related note, I've always wondered if there was some kind of reverse mass defect phenomenon happening with babies: does energy get converted to mass (specifically poop)? Given how quickly they do it, I'm sure the speed of light is involved as well.

    ~r

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  6. Assets and liabilities.

    Parenting sure is a tough job.

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  7. # ~nm: Thankie! His antics keep me amused full time.

    # mama-mia: That lady deserved it. She was completely Obnoxious :)

    # Nithya N:True. Never thought I'd wax about a baby, even when i was 9 months pregnant. It happens with the hormones I guess!!

    # Avanti Sane: Yes it does!! And I come from an all-girls family too, so find him really amusing :)

    # Ramsu: Am sure Lingo would be happy to assist you in expanding your theories :)

    # Taz: Yes. It could be taxing. Many times.

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  8. ROFL! These are all gems! Priceless! Each and every one of them! Thanks for sharing...can't wait to read more!

    M4

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  9. LOL! Good times indeed! :-D

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  10. Mine tried to pee on my face a couple of times. I escaped by a few centimeters!! These days, L'Buddha is into disposable diapers hence such accidents are rare.

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  11. Damn funny post! when can I come and hug the cutie?

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  12. and pee all over me? :)

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